Sometimes realisation comes to you when you least expect it. It happened to me the other day. I suddenly realised that I was never going to get better. It sounds dramatic but it was just a small shift from normal thinking to be honest. I had been thinking how tired I was from walking the boys to school. Normally, when you think you are tired you think, well it’s okay I’ll get better. I will have a good night sleep. I will eat my greens. I will take my multivitamins like a good person.
I started off like that. But, then I realised, it didn’t matter what i do, I would never ever ever be able to go from a walk without being absolutely shattered. And the really strange thing is, i wasn’t really upset by the thoughts. I haven’t quite got to acceptance yet, but I think moving towards understanding.
Progress of sorts.