Pass the full fat whatever

I raided the cupboard tonight
I wanted crisps, salt and bite
But snacks there were none
My shelves are no fun
And my jeans are accusingly tight.

If only there was a quick answer
To make me as lithe as a panther
To smooth all my bumps
And banish those lumps
But instead I have cheeks like a hamster.

Oh I know all the theory and crazes
What people will try still amazes
So I do need to know
How to strike the first blow
Against diets
They can all go to blazes!


2 responses to “Pass the full fat whatever”

  1. I know, I know, so fat I flow.


  2. The best thing I have found
    To help me loose a pound
    (or two) was a simple set of scales.
    This method never fails*
    if you plot your current weight
    against each and every date
    on a neatly drawn graph
    blu-tacked near the bath.

    *It worked for me
    and for my man
    but I should say that we
    haven’t tried again.


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