To call a meal out a treat is misnomer

In these days of Covid

Just ordering is trauma

And trips that are meant to relax and de stress

Result in group panic and emotional mess.

The app doesn’t download

The logon is wrong

The discount that tempted

Has gone for a song

The children are pleading

to run the programme

That tracks us and traces

our chips, eggs and ham.

But then over confidence brings on a mistake

And hasty deletions are needed to make

Our order the right one

And not too ridiculous.

That we’ve stayed in budget

Is really miraculous.

By this time although we have managed the task

Of ordering

we seem to have mislaid our masks

And so we can’t walk, although we are able,

From our seats to toilets.

We’re stuck at our table.

At last our plates turn up

But nice as they seem

I find myself hankering

For good old baked beans.


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