When I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s back in 2007, I did what everybody does. I bought the Micheal J Fox autobiography. The thing I have always carried with me since then is the story he tells of his wife reminding him that there was no point in being cautious in his career choices because there was no ‘shoe to drop’. Basically, bad things happen and they happen to you sometimes, not just other people. So get on with LIFE.
Scroll forward to today and the global wake up call that is Covid19. What does it mean for humanity? Will we realise it is a chance to redirect ourselves? It’s very very hard to change your life priorities and focus. It’s very hard to start to distinguish between received habits and what we really need and want to be doing. I have seen so many declarations about getting back to core values. They are straws in the wind. Light and disposable. They do however, show us trends.
So I am thinking at the moment. Just thinking really. Trying not to scoot into a complicated action plan that involves a complete home organisation regime, shiny sinks and homemade dishcloths. Plenty of time for dishcloths later. Now is the time to really contemplate the enormity of the current position and the advent of the New Normal.
And counterintuitively, this is a time where I find myself grateful for the Parkinson’s diagnosis all those years ago. I have had my ‘shoe drop’ epiphany already. I have changed my life as a result. It’s all here in the blog. But it is no time for an update. Normal 2.0…. a
This poem is about how things can twist and change so easily and wondering what would happen if we could ‘backdate’ an encounter
Sometimes when I am sitting
Dreaming of you
I imagine what it would be like
If we could turn back the clocks
To when we were not pitted and scarred
By the tiny cuts and pricks of disappointment and lost hope
When our eyes shone bright
And we saw light and laughter as our due
not as a bonus
A special offer
But on tap. Limitless
I like to think that if we’d met in those early times
I would have recognised your worth
Your goodness and honesty
Pushing you forward
Shouting “me! Me!”
As i lazily fished.
Or did we need the lows to signpost this high?
Did sadness and pain provide strange relief?
But now is now
And quite how
We got here is not key
What really counts
What lights my heart
Is loving you as you love
This one is about time and it’s value
Every waking moment
is different and unique
It will never come back and we can never peek
and relive our time
It runs quicksilver gone
But always leaves it’s legacy
It’s echo and it’s tone.
We may lose every minute yes
But each supports the next
So shadows do not darken
They add depth and context.
Is not to ignore life.
Is not to place priority
On chores that eat my time.
It is to teach my boys to fly
and be young men with grace.
And watch them as they soar away
To take their rightful place.
So, as I said last time, I’ve started a new arts space here in stitchopolis. It’s my new baby and I’m loving it. I’ve come to realize That the genesis of this venture is a massive step for me. For Once instead of saying ‘one day I will do that’ I’ve just got up and done it. It had made me so much more Confident in other areas of My Life and has left me way more appreciative of my friends and network.
Yesterday I went to a street party being held round the corner from the unit. I knew so many people, all for different reasons- it was lovely. And me and my business were right there in the middle of it. Great.
I also met someone who was struggling with life and just needed to offload and breathe again. I am still stressing on a daily basis but omg life is so much better than this time last year even.
So I guess this post is to mark my recognition that I’ve come a LONG way in the lifetime of this blog (7years!!) and that means j can continue to go even further….cool, an adventure!!
I have a confession to make, I have another love in my life. I have been working on another venture and this weekend it took flight. I am now the founder of an arts space here in Stitchopolis. Can you believe it?? Check it out here.
Hope you like!
its almost the end:
The end of the month.
The end of the (rhyming) line.
One more time.
I’ve been quite hermetic,
I’ve not written much.
But I’m happy I’ve written what’s right.
And I’ve put myself into my words, spilt my blood,
Vented spleen, cried some tears, late at night.
April is a new start, an opening door.
But come May, I won’t close my poem book, no.
Three years I’ve been doing this,
I’m frankly amazed,
But I’m thankful, I’m grateful
I love my studio. I love it. An oasis of calm. An escape. A room of my own, sort of. I’m using one arrangement and trying out various media to remind myself of how they ‘feel’. Yesterday I used marker pens, a first for me. Previously I used pencil and charcoal. Next up will probably be acrylic, new for me. Loving this all. Life is good today. I hope yours is too.
Thinking about how, once you make a change it can become inconceivable that you could ever go back. My life is unrecognisable to when I started this blog and is can’t ever imagine reverting. Ever.
How to define rebirth ?
A big question given short shrift
And others who should be enlarging this query,
Whose lives have morphed madly,
Who’ve grabbed chances hardly
But clear as day now.
How did I live that way?
Why did I not change?
Rebirth is a closed door
The past out of range.
Mr Ant played Stitchopolis last night. Brilliant gig although I felt my age – the audience was the blue rinse brigade but quite literally!!