So tonight I went to Paul Mayhew-Archer’s one man show based on his experiences of having Parkinsons. He was brilliant and I got the chance to also congratulate him on the podcast Movers and Shakers that he is a panel member of. He made me laugh (doh) but he also made me cry when he spoke about how Parkinsons robs you of the gift of communication. I feel that acutely. I have so many ideas that no longer see the light of day because I can’t write them down immediately or because I’m too tired to carry them on. Even this blog has suffered with my posts becoming rare and sporadic.

But then….I wonder at my life’s direction. The trajectory. Does it have to be downwards. Can I just change tack. Or refocus. I think that’s a possibility. It shouldn’t take as much energy as a complete rejig, surely.

On that basis then, I listened to a podcast from Oprah Winfrey on the weight watchers app (I can’t link to it because it’s behind a paywall) which basically talked about living your best life based on your vision and your intention. In other words… what do you want your life to look like and why? The second question is most important. I thought about this a lot. I want to get as fit and healthy as I can. I want a full life. And why? Because I want to make the most of NOW and what is to come. The past will not help me now.

So I am thinking about my goals and all those good intentions. And aligning them to this overview. It’s remarkably well arranged which I guess it should be. I should be able to see my ideal future in the terms of the goals I have identified for myself.

The interesting thing to me about tonight though was how I do not see my future as being a decline. I see an incline maybe but almost as a ramping up of some aspects while others decline. A sort of see saw of life choices. Balance again. It’s all down to balance.

So, I will start again AGAIN and we will see where we get to this time. The immediate future includes Barcelona for WPC2023, open studios, taking my boys to France and simplifying my commitments to allow me to focus on being a professional artist. That’s enough to keep me out of trouble. I hope.